Mummy ne mamu ko call ki aur kaha Arham kuch dino ke liye aapke paas aa raha hai Lahore ghoomne. Mamu ne kaha aa jaye.
Main pehli baar Lahore jaa raha tha aur excited bhi tha. Papa ne bus ki Business class seat book kara di. Main shaam 4 baje lahore station pahunch gaya. Mamu se contact kya aur wo 15 minutes mein aa gaye aur apne flat pe le gaye.
Flat fully furnished tha. Ek hall, 4 rooms. Hall mein ek bada sa tv aur sofa set laga hua tha. Har room mein double bed. Mujhe mamu ne hall mein bithaya, aur khaana online order kar diya. Maine aur mamu ne gap-shap ki aur khaana bhi aa gaya. Hamne khaana khaaya aur mamu ne kaha-
Mamu: Tum travel karke aaye ho, thak gaye hoge. Rest kar lo. Main zara baahar jaa raha hu, raat tak aaunga.
Gap-shap mein maine mamu se bahut sawaal kiye the. Wo 6 bande rehte the flat mein. Ek room guest ke liye tha. Jiska guest aata tha, wo us room mein rehta tha. Mujhe bhi mamu guest room mein rest ke liye le gaye.
Main let gaya aur mamu chale gaye. Mujhe neend aa gayi. Jab main utha to raat ke 11 baj rahe the. Main utha, shower liya aur ek white T-shirt ke sath trouser pehan liya. Fir baal banaye aur baahar aa gaya. Baahar aa kar dekha to mamu ke sath baaki 5 bhi hall mein baithe tv dekh rahe the.
Ek 40 saal ke kareeb aadmi ki mujh par nazar padi to dekhta hi reh gaya. Usne un sab se poocha ki isko kon pakad laaya hai?
Mamu ne kaha: Bhanja hai mera.
Fir us aadmi ne kaha: Shit! main samjha aaj fir raat rangeen hogi.
Mamu ne mera taaruf un sab se karwaya aur unka taaruf mujhse. Wo sab lawyers the aur law ki practice kar rahe the. Ek 40 saal ka aadmi tha jiska naam Ameen khan pathan tha, aur wo un sab ka senior colleague tha. Ek 35 saala aadmi Rashid. Uske baad ek 28 saala Bilal, ek 30 saala Kamran, 32 saala Kashif aur mere mamu bhi 32 saala. Inki age ka maine sirf andaza lagaya.
Mujhe mamu ne kaha: Tum aaj so jao, kal lahore ka visit karenge.
Main wapas guest room mein aa gaya, aur mobile chalane laga. Door poora nahi band kiya tha, isliye hall ka poora manzar dikh raha tha.
Ameen: Yaar aaj biwi ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai. Aur ab to is maal ko dekh kar control hi nahi ho raha.
Mamu: Sharam kar yaar, bhanja hai mera.
Kashif: Bhanja hai, beta thodi hai? Rashid ke bhateeje ko bhi to nahi chhodha tha!
Is par sab hansne lage.
Rashid: Control to mujhse bhi nahi ho raha. Bhateeje ka badla bhi to lena hai.
Mamu: Yaar bachha hai wo.
Bilal: Intermediate kar li hai. College jaane wala hai. Abhi bhi bachha hai kya?
Rashid: Mera bhateeja bhi to iske jitna tha. Us waqt bachha yaad nahi aaya?
Mamu: Usko to raazi kya tha.
Rashid: Isko bhi raazi kar lete hai.
Mamu: Kaise karoge raazi?
Kashif: Agar isko us kaam ke baare mein nahi pata, to waise raazi karenge jaise Rashid ke bhateeje ko kiya tha.
Is par fir sab hansne lage.
Mamu: Aur agar pata hua to?
Kashif: To plan B to hai.
Ameen: Bas Asad ab tu chup reh, raazi kar lete hai hum.
Asad mere mamu ka naam hai.
Kashif: Yaar Asad aisa maal dekh kar tera dil nahi karta kya?
Mamu: Dil to bahut karta hai. Try bhi bahut kya. Lekin kabhi mauka nahi mila.
Kashif: Abhi mauka bana dete hai.
Mere mamu khamosh ho gaye. Mujhe itna to andaza ho gaya ki baat meri ho rahi thi. Magar ye nahi pata tha ki kya karenge ye. Sex ki taraf to zara bhi khayaal nahi gaya mera, kyunki wo to main samajhta tha sirf husband wife ke beech hota hai.
Itne mein Kashif uth kar room ki taraf aane laga. Maine jaldi se mobile uthaya aur aise behave kya jaise maine inki koi baat nahi suni.
Kashif: Arham beta, kya kar rahe ho?
Main: Bas uncle mobile pe game khel raha tha.
Kashif: Sunao koi nayi-taazi?
Girlfriend bhi rakhi hui hai ki nahi?
Main (sharmate hue): Nahi uncle.
Kashif: Sharmao mat, apna dost samjho mujhe.
Main: Nahi hai uncle.
Kashif: To tumne abhi tak sex bhi nahi kya hoga?
Main (Fir sharmate hue): Abhi shadi hi nahi hui.
Kashif: To shadi laazmi thodi hai.
Main: Sex to hota hi husband aur wife ke beech hai.
Kashif (hanste hue): Sex hota kya hai?
Maine sharam se sar jhuka liya aur muskurata raha.
Iske aage kya hua, wo agle part mein pata chalega.
Agla bhaag padhe:- Mamu ne 5 doston ke sath mil kar gaand maari-2